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RCAF Challenger

RCAF Shocked at New Challenger Replacements.

  • Post category:News / Satire

In June of 2020 the Trudeau Government announced the purchase of 2 new Bombardier Challenger 650’s Executive jets. This procurement was to replace half the RCAF Executive Aircraft Fleet. The Executive jet fleet at the time consisted of 2 Challenger 604’s procured in the early 2000 and 2 older Challenger 601 that date back to the 1980’s.

RCAF Challenger 650

The new Challengers are undoubtedly more capable airplanes than the ones they are replacing. The new 650’s have increased range from the older planes besting them by 400 nautical miles. Additionally they offer increased fuel economy with state of the art avionics and a built in Nespresso Machine.

“Same tube, new T.V.s” says industry expert K.P Smith of Smith Aviation Consulting.

Scudrunners Aviation “News” contacted 412 Squadron for comment on how the new jets where fitting in with the Squadron but the Secretary seemed agitated by our questions. “Wait a minute, what! you’re saying we already got them?”

Scudrunners then contacted General Raymond Dunlop who heads Equipment & Procurement Division who stated “We have ordered the stationary and signed a 30 year lease on the building to house the staff to work on The Challenger Project.”  

We then reached out to Bombardier to confirm the jets where in fact delivered in August of 2020. On the condition we kept his name “Guy Lalonde” secret he told us that when he contacted the RCAF in August to arrange delivery they seemed unable to comprehend the jets where ready for pick up.

Typical Canadian Armed Forces procurement takes a minimum of 25 years to replace any piece of equipment from Sea Kings to Side Arms. Once a decision is made the next government cancels that order usually costing tax payers more than buying the equipment would have been in the first place.

K.P. Smith says “manufacturers love bidding on Canadian Armed Forces deals because it usually means they get paid and don’t have to deliver, they know to include penalties and other clauses with Canada”. “Eurocopter was paid $500 million to deliver nothing to Canada during the SeaKing replacement program in the 1990’s” he adds.

“Just look at the Covid-19 Vaccine procurement the government lawyers never thought to put penalties for no delivery in their contracts with Phizer or Moderna, and Tax Payer get the short end of the stick as usual” Smith says.

From time of order to delivery in this case was only 3 months, something it appears the Canadian Armed Forces is not used to handling.

Another high profile projects the Equipment & Procurement Division is currently working on is the CF-18 Replacement Project which is scheduled to be completed in 2045.  

General Dunlop’s Military career began as Officer Cadet in 1983 working on “The Sea King Replacement Project” and has worked his way up through the ranks to General after the Sea Kings where replaced in 2018. “It gives me so much pride to see a project come to completion in a timely and efficient manner.” Asked if he was referring to the Challenger Jet replacement project he shot back “heck no! This new generation doesn’t understand how to do the job right! Fast is slow and slow is fast!”

“I’m signing cadets up for the CF-18 project; this could be a career move for them. Heck one of my guys took over from his Grandpa on the Side Arms replacement project. The boys in green still got Browning Hi-Powers from WW2, I shit you not those things where popping North Koreans in the 50’s and we took them to Afghanistan! Now that’s good bang for the tax payer’s buck!”

When pressed why he thought the Challenger Jets could be replaced so fast General Dunlop said “What are you stupid? Prime Minister Funny Socks is riding in them, it was the same with Jean Chretien when we got the 604’s. Bombardier was having a bad quarter and needed some cash, same thing this time around duh!”

Canadian Prime Minister: Funny Socks

Scudrunners Aviation “News”